“I am a fox.”
“A fox?”
“Could it be that you have never heard of a ‘fox’ on earth?” asked the beauty. Ding Peng had heard of them. There were many legends related to “foxes”. There were some who were very beautiful, some who were very frightening. Because ‘foxes’ were enigmatic.
If they liked you, they would give you all the glory and wealth in the world and luck beyond your wildest dreams. But they can also charm you, til your soul vanishes and your bones are scattered, charm you to death.
Even if no one had ever seen them, no one could deny their existence either.
The only constant in all the legends was that foxes often took human form, moreover, they liked to take the form of a beautiful woman.
Ding Peng looked at the beautiful woman in front of him with amazement, his freshly dried clothes were now damp with cold sweat.
Had he really met a “fox”?
The pale moonlight shone in and illuminated her beautiful pale face, so pale that it seemed transparent.
Only someone who had never seen sunlight would have a complexion like her. Of course a ‘fox’ wouldn’t have been exposed to sunlight.
Ding Peng suddenly laughed.
The beauty seemed slightly baffled. No one who met a fox immortal had ever been able to laugh.
She couldn’t help but to ask, “Do you think this is funny?”
“This is no laughing matter,” Ding Peng said. “But you also don’t scare me either.”
“Oh?”
“Because I’m not the least bit afraid of you.” Ding Peng said, “Whether you’re a ghost or a fox, I am not scared of you.”
“Everybody is afraid of ghosts and foxes.” She asked, “What makes you so unexpectedly fearless?”
Ding Peng said, “Because I want to die anyway.” He was still laughing. “If you are a ghost, I will also become a ghost after I die, why should I be afraid of you?”
The beauty sighed, “It’s certainly true that after someone dies, there is nothing to be afraid anymore.”
Ding Peng said, “That’s right!” The beauty said,
“But why should such a young man want to die?” she asked.
Ding Peng also sighed, “Sometimes young people want to die.”
“You really want to die?”
“Really!”
“You must die?”
“I must die.” The beauty said,
“Too bad you forgot one thing,” said the beauty.
“What?” he asked.
She said, “You haven’t died yet. You’re still a person.” Ding Peng acknowledge this.
“The fact is I am a fox, a fox immortal, and I have magical powers, you don’t,” she said. “So if I don’t want you do not die, you will never die. Unless…”
“Unless what?”
“Unless you first tell me why it is you must die?”
Ding Peng suddenly jumped up and shouted, “Why should I tell you? Why do you want me to tell you?” Whenever he thought about that incident he was immediately overcome with grief and anger, “I refuse to tell you. Can you drag it out of me? Nothing matters except death. If a man is determined to die, why should he be afraid of what others can do to him?”
The beauty looked at him intently and suddenly smiled again, “Now I ‘m convinced. It seems that you truly want to die.”
Ding Peng said, “I absolutely do.”
She suddenly asked, “What is your name?”
“Why do you ask my name?”
“When you die and become a ghost, we’ll be just like neighbors,” she said. “Maybe we’ll see each other often, so of course I want to know your name.”
“Why not tell me your name first?” He said, “A fox must have a name too.”
The beauty sweetly said, “I have a name. I will tell you.” She said, “My name is Qing Qing.” Qing Qing was dressed head to toe in a dress as blue as a clear spring sky, as blue as a clear lake under clear sky. Her beauty was as mysterious and hazy as a distant mountain reflected in the lake. Qing Qing’s waist was as slender and supple as a willow in a spring breeze. Her scimitar was sheathed in a sterling silver scabbard, the top of its hilt inlaid with a lustrous, rounded pearl. Her eyes were even brighter and gentler than the pearl. Ding Peng was not the least bit scared of her. Whether she was a human or a fox, she was not frightening. If Qing Qing was a human, she’s certainly a beautiful one. If she was a fox, she was a kind, gentle and beautiful fox, who would never hurt anyone. Her scimitar also looked like it would not hurt someone.
Ding Peng suddenly asked, “You use a saber (dāo) too?”
Qing Qing, "Why can’t I use a saber?
He asked, “Have you ever killed anyone?”
Qing Qing shook her head, “A person who knows how to use a saber, doesn’t necessarily want to kill people.”
Ding Peng sighed and said, “People who kill don’t necessarily use a saber.” He now realized that some people could kill people with using a saber. This was a far crueler way to kill someone.
Qing Qing asked, “Have you met this person?”
Ding Peng grunted, “En!”
”So even though he didn’t kill you with a saber, you still have to die,” she said.
Ding Peng smiled bitterly, “I’d rather he had killed me with a saber.”
Qing Qing said, “Can you tell me what happened to you, so I can seen whether or not you must die?” He couldn’t tell anyone about this, because no one would believe it even he did.
But Qing Qing was not a person. She was a fox.
A fox is far cleverer than a person and could surely tell if he was telling the truth.
Ding Peng was afraid of her laughing at his ignorance, so he finally told her of the calamity that had befallen him.
If you reveal what is in your heart, telling someone even though you really don’t want to say it, then even if you die, you will die without regrets.
Ding Peng heaved a deep sigh and said, “Do you think that a person who has gone this ought to die?
Qing Qing listened quietly then let out a soft “yes.”
Ding Peng asked, “Can I die now?”
Qing Qing said, “You can die!” Whether it was a person or a fox, both thought he really should die. It was indeed better to die rather than go on living like this.
Ding Peng sighed again and said, “Just go!”
“Why do you want me to leave?” she asked.
“When a man dies, he won’t look good,” he said. “Why would you want to stay here to watch?”
She replied, “There are many ways to die, however. You should choose a more attractive way to die.”
Ding Peng said, “Death is death. All death is the same. Why should I choose an attractive way to die?”
She said, “For me!”
Ding Peng didn’t understand, “For you?”
“I have never seen someone die.” Qing Qing said, “I’m begging you to die a pretty death. Let me watch, okay?”
Ding Peng laughed bitterly. He’d never imagined that anyone would actually make such a ridiculous request of him. Unexpectedly, he did not refuse, “I’m going to die anyway, it doesn’t matter how.”
Qing Qing sweetly replied, “That’s really kind of you.”
He said, “It’s just a pity that I really don’t know which the best way to die is.”
Qing Qing said, “I know.”
Ding Peng said, “Okay, I will die how you want me to die.”
Qing Qing said, “Not far from here, there is a place called the Valley of Sorrow.* In the valley there is a Forgetfulness Grass^. An ordinary person will forget all their worries and sorrows after taking only one leaf of Forgetfulness Grass.” She looked at Ding Peng, “The people of the world are so foolish. Who can truly forget all their worries and sorrow?”
*(Yōuchóu-worry, sadness, troubles, sorrow; gǔ –could be valley of or (_ ) valley. I went with Valley of Sorrow as it was more poetic)
^(wàng yōu cǎo-lit. forget sorrow (worry) grass; daylily (Hemerocallis fulva)].
Ding Peng replied, “Only the dead!”
She sighed softly, “What you say is true, only dead people have no worry.”
“That kind of death is beautiful?" asked Ding Peng.
She said, “As far as I know, this is the sweetest way to die, whether in heaven or on earth.”
Ding Peng asked, “Is that place far from here?”
She said, “Not far!” She turned around and walked slowly towards the darkest part of the cave. Sadness and darkness are always inseparable. The Valley of Sorrow was naturally located in the darkness, an endless darkness that seemed to go on forever. Ding Peng couldn’t see Qing Qing, nor could he hear the sound of her footsteps. He could only smell the faint, delicate, scent of her body. He followed her scent and walked on. The cave was far deeper than he imagined. He didn’t know how long he’d been walking or where he was going. The smell became stronger. Besides hers, there was also the fragrance of flowers. The smell of the flowers seemed to become vulgar when compared to her sweet scent.
“Is she really a fox?” Ding Peng didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. He was still young, if she was a person…
“I am already going to die anyway. Whether she is a human or a ghost, what does it have to do with me?” Ding Peng sighed to himself and stopped thinking about it. “Are there also flowers in the Valley of Sorrow?”
Qing Qing said, “Of course there are. There are all kinds of flowers. I guarantee you have never seen so many flowers.” Her voice was gentle, like a spring breeze wafting in from a distant mountain. “I guarantee you’ve never seen such a stunningly beautiful place.” She hadn’t lied or even exaggerated. The Valley of Sorrow was indeed an unfortunate and very beautiful place, even more so under the moonlight, as beautiful as a dream.
A person who has just emerged from the endless darkness and suddenly finds himself in this beautiful place, would find it hard to believe they weren’t dreaming.
Ding Peng couldn’t help but ask, “This is not a dream?”
“No!”
“Why is this place called the Valley of Sorrow?”
“Because this is the other side of the boundary between mortals and gods, neither can come here as they please.”
“Why?”
“Because when a god comes here, he is demoted to being a human. When a man comes here, he becomes a ghost.”
“Only dying men and gods who have been demoted to mortals have the ability to come here?”
“Right!”
“That’s why this place is called the Valley of Sorrow?”
“Yes.” Qing Qing said, “Whether it is god or man, so long as you come here, you will meet misfortune. Only we foxes, who are neither human nor ghost, can come and go as we please.” What she said was really too astonishing and mysterious.
But Ding Peng did not doubt it.
This was not the human world. There was no trace of mortals ever having been here.
No matter how they die, if a person could die here, then they should no longer have anything to complain about.
Ding Peng said, “Where is that Forgetfulness Grass?” Qing Qing did not respond to his words. She was staring at block of bluestone (a type of limestone) off in the distance. The white jade-like block of stone towered like a lonely giant under the moonlight. There seemed to be no flowers on the rock, only one tuft of dark green grass, greener than an emerald and more beautiful than a flower.
*[The text says “a kind (type) of white jade rock” Yīkuài báiyù bān de yánshí. I am just using white jade rock/stone and it reads better.]
Ding Peng asked, “That’s the Forgetfulness Grass?”
Qing Qing finally nodded and said, “Yes.” She took his arm and led him towards that block of stone, “The leaves of the Forgetfulness Grass only blossom once a year, only three at a time. You have come a little late, its leaves are about to wither.”
Ding Peng said, “This is merely a poisonous weed, nothing more, it’s hard to believe it’s so precious.”
Qing Qing said, “This is not a poisonous weed. This is Forgetfulness Grass. Forgetting one’s sorrows is no easy thing.” She asked Ding Peng, “Wouldn’t you say so?”
Ding Peng said, “Yes.”
Just then, a dark shadow suddenly flew in, blocking the moonlight like a black cloud.
Of course, it was not a black cloud, merely a pale eagle.
The eagle circled under the moonlight. It hovered like a black cloud above the white jade rock.
Suddenly there was a puzzled expression on Qing Qing’s pale face. She furrowed her brow and said, “It seems like you’re not the only one who’s looking for this Forgetfulness Grass today!”
Ding Peng looked up at the eagle in the moonlight and said, "Could that actually be a god?”
Qing Qing shook her head and said, “It’s just an eagle!”
Ding Peng said, “Why would an eagle look for Forgetfulness Grass? Do eagles also have worries and troubles?”
Before Qing Qing could open her mouth to respond, the eagle suddenly swooped down like a meteor towards the Forgetfulness Grass on the rock.
The eagle’s movements were much faster than anyone else, and even more accurate.
Unbelievably, Qing Qing was even faster. She gently scolded, “Go.”
As she uttered the rebuke, her body had already flown up like a drifting cloud, floating up onto the rock.
He sleeves also like a floated like a cloud as she brandished them towards the eagle’s eyes.
The eagle let out a long cry, soaring off in a dignified manner. In the blink of an eye it had disappeared into the sinister, distant darkness.
The full moon regained its brightness.
Ding Peng sighed to himself.
If he had her ability*, why would he need to be afraid of Liu Ruosong? Why would he want to die?
*(shēnfǎ- pose or motion of one’s body in martial arts)
Unfortunately, ability like hers was something that no mortal could ever aspire to.
He saw Qing Qing beckoning to him, “Can you come up here?”
“I’ll try!”
The smooth, mirror-like rock was slippery and unforgiving. He wasn’t sure if he could make it to the top.
But he definitely had to try.
Whether she was a human or a fox, she was always a female, and he didn’t want her to look down on him.
He tried over and over. His whole body was beaten black and blue.
She stood leisurely on the rock and watched him fall again and again. She did not pull him up, nor did intend to.
“No matter what it is you want, you must rely on your own ability.”
“A person without ability won’t live a good life, nor will he die a good death.”
He gritted his teeth and began climbing again. This time he almost succeeded. He nearly reached the flat top of the rock.
Just then the eagle suddenly flew back. The wind from its wings struck him head on.
He fell again. This fall was worse. The higher you climb, the harder you’ll fall.
Dazed, he seemed to hear the eagle sneer, ““Is someone like you fit to seek the Forgotten Grass?”
However, this was only an eagle, not a god. An eagle can’t sneer, much less speak. A man riding on the eagle’s back had spoken.
The eagle was circling, and the man had flown down, like a leaf landing lightly on a rock.
A mortal would never have such ethereal ability*.
*(qīngmiào de shēnfǎ-wonderfully gentle movement in his martial arts).
His body gave off a golden light under the bright moonlight. He wore a three-foot long robe* woven from golden silk.
*(páozi- Chinese style lined gown)
Because this man was only three feet tall, his three-foot long gown dragged on the ground.
His beard was even longer than his golden robe. His sword was longer than his beard.
The three-foot tall man carried a four-foot-long sword on his back, its golden scabbard dragged on the ground.
The man really didn’t look like a person either.
Maybe he was not a man at all, but a god. This was never meant to be a place where mortals could come.
Why should a man who couldn’t succeed on earth come here?
If a man couldn’t defeat another man, how could he compete with a god or a fox?
Ding Peng suddenly regretted ever having come here.
The golden robe, golden beard and golden sword all emitted golden light.
The old man’s (laoren) body was less than four-feet tall, but his demeanor and aura were like those of a ten-foot tall giant.
He suddenly asked, “Are you the one who scared my son away just now?”
He was asking Qing Qing, yet he hadn’t so much as glanced at her, as if there was no one in the world worthy of bestowing his gaze upon.
“You’re son?” Qing Qing laughed, “Is that bird your son?”
The old man said, “That’s not a bird. It is an eagle, a divine eagle, a god among eagles.”
He spoke with a solemn and thoughtful expression, for what he said was in now way a lie or a joke.
Qing Qing was still laughing, “Isn’t an eagle also a bird, your son is a bird. Are you also a bird?”
The old man was furious. He was already half bald and when he was enraged his remaining hairs stood up one by one.
It is said when a person has practice qinggong to a very high level, his hair will literally stand on end when he is angry.
However, there was no one in the entire world who had trained their qinggong to such a high level. No person could even hope to reach this level of power.
Yet Qing Qing didn’t seem the least bit afraid, because she was not human.
She was a fox.
It was said that foxes were not afraid of anything.
Unexpectedly, the old man’s anger quickly subsided and he said coldly, “You are able to startle my eagle son (yīng er), your power is really not weak.”
Qing Qing said, “Oh!”
The old man said, “But I won’t kill you!”
He proudly said, “Because there are only two people left in the world who are qualified enough to be killed by me.”
Qing Qing said, “Aiya! (damn)”
“What do you mean by ‘aiya’?” asked the old man.
She said, “Oh, that means you can still kill me if you really want to.”
“Why?”
Qing Qing said, “Because I am not a human being at all.”
The old man asked, “What thing are you?”
“I am not a thing. I am a fox,” she replied.
The old man sneered and said, “Fox spirits are something else altogether, not even fit to allow your old man to draw his sword.”
(wǒ laorenjia-cocky way of referring to self)
Not only was he extremely imposing, he was also extremely bold.
He still had not even glanced at Qing Qing, strolling towards the Forgetfulness Grass with his hands behind his back.
–Could someone like him have sorrows to forget?
Qing Qing suddenly blocked his way and said, “You must not disturb this Forgetfulness Grass. You can’t even touch it.”
The old man didn’t even bother to ask her why.
Now that she was right in front of him, he couldn’t help but look at her. But he still did not look up at her face.
He kept his focus on the saber* in her belt, the light green handle of the curved saber. Qing Qing’s scimitar brightly glinted under the full moon. The old man suddenly stretched out a bird claw-like hand and said, “Bring it here!”
*[Dāo-a single edged bladed weapon, as opposed to jian-sword-a double edged weapon. Dāo is often translated as knife, but knife has a different connotation in the west. So I went with saber. Dāo can also refer to a blow from a saber.]
Qing Qing asked, “Bring what?”
“You’re saber.”
“Why should I allow you to hold my saber?” she asked.
The old man said, “Because I want to see it.”
“You have already seen it.”
“I want to see the saber,” he said, “not the scabbard.”
Qing Qing said, “I advise you, it’s quite enough to just look at the scabbard, never at the saber.”
The old man said, “Why?”
Qing Qing said, “Because this saber is absolutely not to be seen.”
She sighed softly, “Because everyone who has seen this saber has already died under it.”
The old man suddenly lifted his head to look at her face. Her face was pale and beautiful, so poignant and mysterious, so beautiful that any man could not help but be moved by a single glance at it. This old man’s reaction was completely different. His pupils suddenly contracted, and his eyes suddenly revealed an expression of extreme fear. He involuntarily gasped and cried out, “It’s you!”
Could this old man have seen Qing Qing before? Could he have known Qing Qing before? Suddenly, the old man shook his head again and said, ““No it’s not, absolutely not. You are still young. You are too young.”
Qing Qing was also felt slightly bewildered and said, “"Do I remind you of someone?”
The old man said, “I don’t recognize you, I only recognize this saber. I could not be mistaken, could I?”
He suddenly asked Qing Qing, “Are there seven characters engraved on this saber?”
Qing Qing answered his question with a question, “Which seven characters?”
The old man said, ‘Listen to the Spring Rain All Night in the Small Building’.
‘Listen to the Spring Rain All Night in the Small House.’ This was a poem, a very beautiful poem, so poignant and heartbreakingly beautiful.
Ding Peng had also read this poem.
When he read or heard this line of poetry, his heart would be filled with a sense of melancholy; a melancholy of “wanting to say more, wanting to say no more”, a beautiful feeling.
But Qing Qing and the old man reacted differently when the seven characters were spoken. The old man’s hand trembled and his face changed. When she heard these seven characters, Qing Qing’s face also changed. She suddenly dropped the basket of flowers in her hand and grabbed the hilt of the saber.
The curved hilt of the saber.
The hilt of the Qing Qing’s scimitar was also curved.