I don’t think they enjoy being mistreated. Rather the heroic men are expected to be more forgiving. They should be magnanimous and not bear a grudge against a girl.
Jin Yong seems to basically have two “types” as far as his ideal waifu is concerned, they’re either breathtaking ice queens (Xiao Long Nv, Wang Yuyan, Princess Fragrance) or mischievous tsundere (Huang Rong, Wen Qingqing, Ren Yingying, Zhao Min).